Dear Sir, Madam, Crack whore, Juvenile, Soccermom:
Thank you for ending my year with a bang. Bang, I open my door on New Year's Eve to discover my car stereo has been lifted out of my car. That was a really great ending to a year. It made me feel special.
Thanks also for passing over (like God did to those who spread lambs' blood on their door) my knitting needles in my vintage Shirt Tales lunch box, my 20 dollar colored pencils, my 1/2 used bottle of gesso, and my favorite sandals. I'm sure you could've jammed a few more locks with those knitting needles.
I really hope that you got your drug fix or the new Mariah Carey cd used from Soundgarden with the money you collected from my 5 year old stereo. It must've made a nice end of the year present to whomever bought it. Don't forget to tell them that they have to take the cd out and put it back in if it's mid way through playing a cd when it's cold outside. And, try and explain how to get it from stop displaying "Kate's" whenever it's turned on. I'm sure you can say it came like that from the factory. I hope it's broken now.
It's alright. I really wanted to spend the first 500 dollars I earned in 2006 fixing my lock you jammed and buying a stereo for my car that plays mp3's. instead of my old fashioned one that just plays cd's. So, thanks for that. It was an awesome experience.
Sincerely,
Your bitch
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someone broke into my car just before Christmas... they took my cd player (3 years old) and a bag of gifts I had bought. The real bummer came a few days later when I went to find a CD and realized that I had not, in fact, taken my CDs into the house as I thought, but they had been stolen too.
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