Repost: The Worst Baked Good I've Ever Tasted

This is an old blog post, but I thought it deserved to be reposted since there is a Cake Love opening in Baltimore today. Eat there at your own risk!

A few weeks ago, my friend and I went to see Sleater-Kinney at the 930 Club. I was excited because in addition to the usual visits to Ben's Chili Bowl and The Saloon, we were going to venture to Cake Love's Cafe to get cupcakes.

The guy who owns Cake Love is the same guy who hosts the show, Sugar Rush, on the Food Network. One would assume a person would have to show a certain apptitude for making cakes and sugary treats if you have your own show travelling the country, tasting other people's concoctions, and talking about them. I'm convinced now that the Food Network people who gave this guy his own show were drunk on absinthe at the time.

My friend and I ventured 20 blocks in the blistering heat on a Tuesday to buy some cupcakes from Cake Love (their cafe is called Love Cafe). I decided to order two cupcakes (because who can eat just one?). I purchased a vanilla on vanilla and a strawberry on choclate.

My friend and I both ate our vanilla on vanilla cupcakes about 5 minutes after leaving the store. They ask that you let the cakes come to room temperature, since they have to keep them refrigerated. Upon first bite, I noticed that there was hardly any icing at all on the cupcake, and the cake was a bit tough. Still, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever eaten. But definitely not worth the $3.30 it cost to buy the damn thing.

I carried my cupcake in it's cute little box to Ben's Chili Bowl for dinner as I was saving the Strawberry on Choclate for dessert. All of the workers in the Chili Bowl kept asking me for my cupcake. I considered just letting them have it, because I was full from chili cheese fries. But, I didn't.

Our final stop before the show was The Saloon for big German beers. I could no longer wait to eat my cupcake and took a bite. My first reaction was that it had been previously frozen and not quite thawed properly. My second thought was that when it had been dethawed, it was placed in a very old sneaker. The strawberry buttercream frosting tasted rotten, and the choclate cake was the consistency of dirt. I instantly felt compelled to walk the billion blocks in the insane heat back to the bakery just to take a bite and spit it out on the counter in front of the other customers.

It was terrible. Of course, I made my friend share in my misery and take a bite. He too agreed that it was the worst baked good he'd ever tasted.

I threw away the remainder of the disgusting, overpriced, piece of crap cake. I almost wished I'd handed it over to the workers at Ben's Chili Bowl. But, then they would've thought I didn't like them and spit or pee in my fries the next time I went there. Or worse, banned me from the restaurant for giving them the worst cake ever.

So, don't go to Cake Love, and if you do....consider yourself WARNED! 3