Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I Don't Believe the Rumors

I love Cat Power. I think her new album, The Greatest, is one of the best I've heard so far this year. But, she is one of the worst live acts I've ever seen. I use the term "seen" loosely because most of the concert experience involved her freaking out on stage about the brightness of the lights or how much she was sucking that night.

People are saying she's through with that now. And, if the show from Paris circulating the mp3 blogs is evidence, then maybe that's true. But, I'm not buying it. I think it's all a set-up to get us to fork over another 15 bucks for her show and then stand there wishing we were at home listening to her beautiful, haunting cd's instead of staying awake past 1am on a weeknight.

So, here's my prediction of the Cat Power performance at this year's Coachella Festival:

(Cat Power walks on stage, sits at piano. An air conditioner is situated near the piano. It is 106 degrees outside. There are 3,000 people in the crowd, waiting for her to begin)
Can you pull the stage shade down a little? It's too bright up here.
Can you guys please be quiet? I'm about to play
(plays 3 notes on the piano)
I'm sorry guys, I'm really sucking today.
Can you turn the air conditioning vent a little more towards me? Thanks.
And Pull that shade down a little more? Thanks.
(plays 7 notes on the piano. Sings 10 words)
Sorry guys, I'm really playing badly. It must be all this heat and sunlight and fans watching me play.
(Puts personal cooler suit on complete with helmet and runs through the crowd to get a taco, never again to return)

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