Dear Mr. Suburban Man,
Please stop running around the neighborhood without wearing a shirt. I understand your desire to not be fat. However, one thing you missed while becoming inspired when watching that commercial with "Times They Are A Changin'", was that the guy had a shirt on while running down the street.
I like running on the paths in the "woods" near my house. It is distracting to be nearing the end and having to notice your man boobs bouncing. Not to mention your hairy back glistening in the sun when you're running in front of me.
Yes, I know I could turn away, or not look in front of me, or run faster so I don't have to see you at all. But, that is a difficult task. It's a hell of a lot more difficult than you just wearing a shirt when you walk out your door.
So, please, for the comfort of others, cover it up. Bob Dylan will thank you, and so will I.
That girl who's always making the weird face at you when you're running without wearing a shirt